This year’s MLA convention in Chicago, Illinois, was a suspiciously pleasant affair: clear weather, somewhat navigable conference spaces, and proximity to historians for their nearby annual meeting for when (not if) literary folks became too much. This Shoptalk features literary scholars’ longing for historians’ greener grass (and swag) on the other side of the Loop, along with the usual snark, misery, and questions-that-are-more-comments that characterize the literary discipline.
1. “God, I hate the Restoration.”
2. “I think your theory and praxis are synched!”
3. “Nothing is loading. I miss the ASA app.”
4. Person 1: “Maybe the escalator will take us where we need to go.”
Person 2: “Would that be machine learning?”
5. Person 1: “History conferences are so different.”
Person 2: “Why?”
Person 1: “I’m actually learning.”
6. Person 1: “This conference hotel is excessively fancy.”
Person 2: “It’s actually two excessively fancy hotels.”
7. “This weather is so nice. Thanks, Anthropocene!”
8. “I wouldn’t go near an open letter with a 10-foot pole.”
9. Person 1: “We met once before.”
Person 2: “Actually twice, but who’s counting?”
Person 1: “Apparently you are!”
10. “My academic role model and I cried together.”
11. “Are you allowed to ask people for their autograph here?”
12. Person 1: “In my field, all white women are named Susan and all black women are named Barbara.”
Person 2: “The ’80s were a rough time.”
13. “I want to know why, given our registration fees, AHA has fancier badges and swag.”
14. “That escalator was a Who’s Who in American literature.”
15. “The 19th century is the new 20th century. Everyone is saying it.”
Many thanks to Rachel Corbman and SaraEllen Strongman for their overhearing assistance! 
